The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
