THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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