I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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