Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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