I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Help. Why am I so naked?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize