at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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