What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
