Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
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My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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