R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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