Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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