he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
