He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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