do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
