I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
