thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
