Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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