is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Found your dick twin last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize