dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
