i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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