dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think i got beer on your cat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
