He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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