so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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