There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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