bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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