ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
