Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
