New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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