erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
