he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
