It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize