I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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