You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
