btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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