So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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