farters have to be the big spoon...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this will be a night to untag.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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