just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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