I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
