i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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