3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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