Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
