and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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