i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize