Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
