how hairy? two words: wookie tits
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
