Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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