I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
