I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
