a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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