i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
