Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
