You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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