ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
