we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
