is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize