Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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