To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
