I didn't shave. On purpose
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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