Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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