I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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