Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
