just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
