sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
