i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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