Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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