Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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