If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
