4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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